Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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