I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
