Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
