You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize