she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
