Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize