pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
me + whiskey = a bad person
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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