And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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