she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Randomize
