he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
