Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
