in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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