Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
