I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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