why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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