What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
be right there i have to get my cape
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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