Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
