I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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