problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
