Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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