So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I will be naked everywhere
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
