wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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