Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
