I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting