so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard