Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
