My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
