You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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