help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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