I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize