The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
