Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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