so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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