I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
