Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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