I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
