I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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