how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
