i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
