Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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