i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We need to rekindle our bromance
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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