Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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