i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
