Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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