I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize