just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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