he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
