Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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