Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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