OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
