I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
