Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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