i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We are all done wearing pants today
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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