who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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