also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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