Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
