y did u give ur computer a hand job?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
