he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
